How A Couple’s Feelings Toward Their Past Can Predict Future Divorce

Therapists, marriage counselors, researchers, and other experts are always trying to figure out how to predict divorce. What signs should couples look for? If they do have feelings of unhappiness in their marriage, what should they do?

One thing therapists do is pay attention to how a couple explains how they met. They look for smiling and positivity. Those signs mean that the relationship is still pretty much together but needs a little work, particularly when it comes to communication.

When a couple recalls their meeting with negativity, then there’s more work to be done. It does not necessarily mean the couple will divorce, but they will need adequate support in three key areas.

Negativity 

When a couple is married for many years without understanding how to manage conflict, they will eventually view everything about their partner as negative. Everything is seen as critical, even when the spouse tries to be nice. They will also start to use absolute terms, such as “always” or “never.” This makes it hard to see your partner in a new light.

Couples can change this by changing their tone. Be positive. Show appreciation and gratitude. Keep a journal if you have to.

Marital Disappointment 

When negativity hits hard, couples may think of everything as a disappointment. They have given up on the marriage and may even wish they never met their spouse. A lot of this has to do with unknown expectations. Couples need to be open and honest about what they expect from each other and be clear about their needs. 

Flooding

When a couple is in a flooded state, it means that their bodies are overstimulated physically and emotionally. This can make it hard for couples to address conflict. The symptoms of flooding are a racing heart, jittery feeling, and a hard time expressing your thoughts.

To deal with flooding, you need to deal with the other two issues: negativity and marital disappointment. Deep breathing and releasing your muscles can also be helpful. 

What Couples Need to Do

Couples need to be realistic about their marriage. While it’s OK to have negative feelings from time to time, it’s better to be positive and think about the good things.

If you truly cannot stand your partner anymore, then why continue the relationship? It would not be fair to either of you. Think about your true feelings and seek therapy if necessary. 

Seek Help for Your Divorce

When it comes to your marriage, were things better in the good ol’ days? Or do you look back at the time you met with disappointment?

If you regret meeting your spouse, then that doesn’t bode well for your marriage. A divorce may be in your future. A Dade City & Zephyrhills divorce attorney from Madonna Law Group can help you end your marriage with ease. We can start working on your divorce as soon as possible. Call (800) 557-0411 or fill out the online form to schedule a consultation.

Source:

mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-couple-describes-their-past-is-divorce-predictor