Is Divorce Imminent? Here Are Some Signs That Predict It

Marriage is all about good communication. When couples can’t talk to each other without yelling, criticizing, or being defensive, there’s something wrong. In fact, communication styles like this can lead to divorce.

Clinical psychologist and marriage counselor John Gottman has done extensive research on this issue. In the 1990s, he was able to predict which couples would eventually divorce with an accuracy rate of an amazing 94%. He says these four behaviors are the strongest predictors of divorce.

Criticism

Criticism is much more than a complaint about your partner’s mistake. It is a direct attack on your spouse’s character and is often generalized. For example, if you’re mad that your spouse spent $100 from the bank account without telling you, you should address them on that issue. If you instead attack your partner and say that they’re always spending money without your consent, this becomes criticism. It’s now a broad, negative assessment of your spouse’s character, which can cause them to feel defensive.

Defensiveness

Speaking of feeling defensive, this is another communication issue that can ruin a marriage. Defensiveness often rears its head in two main forms. The “innocent victim stance” is when the person whines about being accused or looks for excuses to defend their behavior. Instead of taking accountability for their actions, they place the blame on their partner and make them seem like the unreasonable one.

The “righteous indignation stance” results in a counterattack on your partner. Instead of addressing the issue, you criticize your partner’s actions instead.

Contempt

This is the worst communication style, as it is mean and condescending. It is caused by deep-rooted resentment and anger and is the communication style most likely to lead to divorce. It involves insults, name calling, sarcasm, and certain body language, such as eye rolling.

Contempt shows that you strongly dislike someone, so persistent signs of contempt are a major red flag. When contempt is present, it’s incredibly difficult to overlook. Contempt shows your partner that you consider yourself superior and think very little of them. This then makes them feel worthless or inferior.

Stonewalling

Stonewalling involves complete disengagement. You totally withdraw from the situation. You completely shut down and stop listening entirely. For example, you may turn away from the conversation, look busy with other tasks, ignore your partner, and tune them out entirely. It is often done in response to the other communication forms listed above, particularly contempt. However, stonewalling is not an effective coping mechanism. It can be a hard habit to break and does nothing to resolve the problem.

Seek Help for Your Divorce Case

If you and your spouse don’t communicate well, divorce could very well be on the horizon. Change your communication skills quickly or your marriage could soon end.

Divorcing? The Dade City & Zephyrhills divorce attorneys from Madonna Law Group can help you end your marriage with less stress. Schedule a consultation today by calling (800) 557-0411 or filling out the online form.

Source:

psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-instincts/202409/the-4-strongest-predictors-of-divorce